Deli Clerks: Managing your Meat

At the risk of sounding like a Braggart My job is a supermarket deli clerk!



Deli, So I dress differently from everybody in the store. I'm lazy as shit so when I go on break, my coat usually goes with me.

Anyone who can identify with this "choice" of employment knows you're mostly behind the scenes, You're exposed to the entire store but You're technically behind the scenes. Now since I work, and shop in the same very store I've gotten pretty good with inventory placement. As I said only but a few words earlier I am a Deli clerk, I'm not a Deli nor store Manager, I am not asked to order for the department, much less hone in on the ordering trends of the entire company.



What is that by the way? Am I the only one who has had a Shit powerless position That they justified with the adjective "job".

I know I'm not only because I have co-workers at the current time (misery loves company)

yet... Daily I'm confronted as if I were running the joint since it were a side of the road vendor cart. I have a shit job, I make none of the major decisions, and I feel a genuine sense of discomfort when I hear that You, my customer airs their dissappoinment with this organization in which I am employed.

I'm discomforted, not because I give a shit, I'm discomforted because they do it by blocking me from the bathroom when I have to take a shit!!!!!!!!!!!



If the previous section sounds rude, and un-customer-servicey Then it was meant for you. You've probably already struck some college kid trying to keep herself off the pole Or some middle aged burnt out failure (guilty). Listen Your retardation will cause you nothing but harm Eventually and inevitably causing you to succumb to a demise that might most likely end up as fodder for late night comics.

If I may suggest ending it now

I'm always approaching a break, and by break I mean it don't start until I've sat and at least 2 drags into a smoke. Hey, I'm in a union they told me that was the rule, Shitting don't count.

I approach my break, and I hear "Excuse me, Where's the America's Choice Dog Food" Since I'm on the clock I escort them to the dog food Aisle, which is hard to find since its only the Aisle with the Huge god-damned bags and towers of cans on the end cap With the Aisle sign that says... DOG FOOD! Yeah, I mean to make it sound like it's the only thing in the Aisle. Fuck it dogs should have their own aisle in the grocery store. Dogs are awesome, It's people who are too fucking fat.

"Excuse me" I hear yet again, "There's no America's Choice" by the way For those of you unaware America's Choice is a legitimate vendor and I'm name dropping, and if you haven't seen the name you're

1. Blind



2. Spending too much time at home on the internet



3. Not paying attention

This is where a bombardment of questioning begins:

When is more coming in?

Is there more in the back?

Is the Company still open?

Did you learn P.E.M.D.A.S. in high school math?

How do you work here and not know when it comes in?

Here's how I don't know. My dog...Doesn't eat it!

I'm not trying to bash A.C. She eats your bologna with sheer joy, as for the dog food.

I bought it for her once. She wouldn't eat it she left it, here's the thing, My dog... Eats her own shit but made a decision not to touch America's Choice version of Kibbbles and Bits

So in Summation

Shit = Edible if necessary

America's Choice Dog Food = not so much

How do I talk all this shit and not lose my shit job, I'm in a union. I'm told "it's a job, they're hard to come by". And I get it and I am somewhat grateful, it's just easy to get angry, when you live check to check and your main position in life is Throwing Away food. I always think of Russia, and hope that I adapt easily to Soilent Green.